Deck the halls with loads of bike kit, fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la! 'Tis the season to go cycling...so long as you can escape those pesky familial commitments such as washing up or the post-dinner sofa lounging. Yes, we know that doesn't scan, but the pain is real for many cyclists over the festive period. Trapped indoors with no hope of escape to the trails or tarmac, it's enough to drive you up the walls. Here's our guide on how to survive, and maybe even get in a sneaky ride or two.
- 10 entirely convincing reasons to buy a new bike
- How to teach a child to cycle in 30 minutes
- Can we guess where you're from in just 8 questions?
How to nab the last roast potato
The Last Roast Potato. It sits there, gloriously crispy on the outside, fluffy, white and carbohydrate-packed on the inside, all alone in the dish just waiting for someone to make their move. That someone should be you.
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You'll be doing lots of riding over Christmas, and you need to make sure you're well fuelled to compensate for the energy you'll be expending when you're out. This goes doubly for our Northern Hemisphere-based readers, who'll also be battling against the cold, snow, rain or quite possibly all three. Your family surely don't want you to bonk when you're out, do they now?
So chow down on that little crispy parcel of tastiness, and why not wash it down with a little more turkey. You've earned it.
How to deal with present disappointment
- 'Oh, it's lovely! But sadly it's not compatible with my bottom bracket/head set/wheel size/hubs (delete as appropriate) – mind if I swap it?'
- 'You know, I've always wanted a chocolate fountain/donut maker/candyfloss machine, but I've just signed up for a big event and I need to watch what I eat. Can I exchange it for a NutriBullet?'
- 'That perfume/aftershave IS lovely, but I'm worried I wouldn't get the use out of it. Did you know that Rapha do a lovely Chamois cream though? I'd certainly get the use out of that!'
How to avoid the washing up
- Fake falling asleep on the sofa until someone else starts doing it. Wait until everyone else is asleep, then very, very quietly sneak out the door. Make sure you have your kit prepped in advance.
- Offer to help a small child assemble some kind of model. 'Realise' that you need a tool from your garage. Sneak off for a ride.
- More than one of you? Say you have to pop round someone's (think of someone plausible) house to drop off a gift and go for a short ride instead. Brief the other party ahead of time. Or ensure the other party also rides bikes, and head off all together.
- Couples: you could try using the 'we need to visit the other set of parents' excuse. Or plan ahead and make this a legitimate excuse, stopping for a ride between visits.
- Act rowdy and annoying until someone tells you to leave. Risky, and not very festive.
How to bring your bike away with you for Christmas
- The first is obviously to ensure your family are also into cycling, which means every is on board with the idea in the first place - of COURSE you'd bring your bikes away with you. Duh!
- If you have kids and bought them bikes for Christmas, then simply explain innocently that they'll want to go for a ride on them ASAP and you'll need your bike to keep up with them.
- Buy a van so you can bring lots of bikes with you and all the Christmas bits and pieces. Pricy, unless you already own a van.
- Convince them that it will help keep you fit/sane/out of the way when things get busy.
How to get out for a sneaky ride
- "You've forgotten something from the shops? I'll just zip down and get it for you. If I go by bike, I won't get caught in the Christmas traffic!"
- "We CAN'T have Christmas without mistletoe! I saw some in the woods when I was out riding the other day and I'm sure I can get some from there. Back shortly!"
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