On Sunday I'll go through the same routine I've gone through a thousand times. I'll wake, I'll read over my notes, and then I'll head towards the commentary booth to prepare for the Down Under Classic – the traditional curtain-raiser to the Tour Down Under.
Only one thing will be different, only one thing won't be the same, and while I know what it is, and how I feel about it, I don't know if I'm ready. You see, for the past 35 years I've gone through that routine with my friend, my brother, Paul Sherwen. But when I reach the commentary booth on Sunday afternoon, the chair to my left, where Paul would always sit, will be empty.
To be honest, I've dreaded this week as it's approached. I mean no disrespect to the organisers of this fantastic event or the Australian fans who have carried my spirits these past few weeks since Paul's passing. Everyone has been incredibly supportive, but part of me is still in shock and still coming to terms with what happened.
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I can still remember the call I took when I was in South Africa – the voice at the end of the phone and how a mutual friend broke the news to me. I couldn't believe it. I just didn't think it could be possible. Even six weeks on I still find it surreal, and I don't think that the grief has really hit me.
The shred of light that's come from all this is that Paul was really loved. There have been condolences from all over the world: from British Cycling to ASO, and from so many of his former colleagues. The ceremony in England that will take place in February will have a huge turnout, with Alain Bondue – the best man at his wedding – bringing 20 former riders with him, while Allan Peiper will talk about Paul's career on the continent. It will be a celebration of Paul's life as much as it will be the chance for those left behind to grieve.
In these last few weeks I've had riders SMS me, ones I've not heard from in years, and I've been asked so many times, 'How are you?' I admit, that question has been hard to answer at times, but Mark Cavendish, Stuey O'Grady, and so many others have been in touch, and those sentiments have carried me through this. When Stuey texted me just before I arrived in Australia, asking how I was, I won't lie: I burst into tears. Not just out of sadness, but love too. Love for Paul. But I know he'd be up there now, smiling away, and probably laughing too.
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via Cyclingnews Latest Interviews and Features http://www.cyclingnews.com/features/phil-liggett-the-empty-chair-to-my-left
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